the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
