He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
