Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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