Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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