There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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