3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
