He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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