We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
