I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
