Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
