I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
