I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
