I got chris browned last night
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
