Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize