Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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