he shaved USA in his pubs
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
