you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
