ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
