operation have a gay friend backfired
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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