whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
