I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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