Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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