Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
