wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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