I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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