remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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