Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
