i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
