please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
