Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize