Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
