Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
