butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
