pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
