just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
