Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
