Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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