Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
