and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
