I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
