I heard we made out
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
