She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize