My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
