we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
