Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
