I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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