porn star boner night. come get it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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