Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
