Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
