Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
