So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
