I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
