i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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