Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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