Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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