I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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