you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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