I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We need to get me chipped asap
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
