lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have aggressive nipples.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
