So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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