He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found puke in my bra..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
