i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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